As mentioned in my previous blog, there are so many means of finding information to parenthood. I personally, haven’t followed a single one since becoming a parent! It’s something I’ve said and will continue to say throughout my blogs, there’s no RIGHT or WRONG. So, remind yourself of this constantly! You’ll always find better ways of doing something.
I’ve learnt so many things since the arrival of my daughter. Here are 5 I wish to share with you:
1. Support one another
Nothing you have ever done in your life can prepare you for parenthood and the strain it can put on your relationship. Time’s no longer your own and getting anywhere now means having to add an extra hour to get there.
We live in an already stressful and fast-paced society, so then to put on top of that night feeds, nappy changes, feeding times, limitless amounts of sick-covered washing and endless amounts of affection your child requires – it’s hard for everyone to keep on top of it.
You’ll both be faced with equally tough days, so work as a team and assess what the other needs to make life just a little bit easier. A simple and calm conversation can go a long way and gives you a different outlook on how to approach that day. Make her that cup of tea or run that bath – it’s the small but thoughtful things that count.
2. Becoming domesticated
I was never particularly domesticated before having a baby and it’s something I’m definitely better at since meeting India! This is something that you may not want to do but it’s certainly something your partner will greatly appreciate. Creating a clean and tidy environment can help your partner tackle the daily challenges with a little more ease.
“Creating a clean and tidy environment can help your partner tackle the daily challenges with a little more ease.”
I’ve also never been a fan of cooking but knowing how much it has helped Binky’s day; I have stepped up to the challenge! Having looked after India all day on my own, I can now understand how lovely it is for your partner to come home and prepare you a meal. It really takes the extra pressure off your hands. I now love cooking and making Binky’s day a little easier and contributing that bit extra to my family.
You’d be surprised what brownie points you’ll get for folding up those pants, or putting that spoon in its rightful place, you may even get a thank you kiss out of it!
3. Cherish every moment
I can’t stress this point enough to you, the change in my little girl already in 3 months is frightening! I know we all live busy lives but allow yourself time each day to enjoy your child, it doesn’t matter if you have 5 minutes or 5 hours with them, just enjoy the time and take it in. We sometimes work so hard that we loose sight of what’s important and miss the most memorable moments in life – the things that no money can buy.
I remember that a nurse advised Binky and I not to touch our mobile phones for the first hour of India being born. So many parents go straight to their phones to contact loved ones or take to social media to announce the news to the world. When they do this, they miss their child opening their eyes for the first time. Binky and I took her advice and I can honestly say it was an hour I’ll never forget and will remember for the rest of my life.
4. Predicting the unpredictable game of becoming a parent
I’m still unsure if I understand what it is to be a dad. I always envisioned a Dad being the rock of the family and having an answer to everything. I’m 28 years old and still have much to learn. I make mistakes daily but never once have I thought that I’m a bad Dad.
The main thing to remember is that it doesn’t matter how many mistakes you make, keep going until you get it right. I know I’m the right man for the job as I will never give up.
“It doesn’t matter how many mistakes you make, keep going until you get it right.”
Your child is unpredictable and no matter how many times you do something and think that you have FINALLY got it right, they’ll always have the upper hand and surprise you with something else! Never see it as a failure but just a learning curve as I assure you, it won’t be the first and certainly won’t be the last.
With that point being said, I’m still waiting to find the right tactic on how to feed India without her being sick all over me!!!
5. Adding one more person to your journey and continuing life as normal
I often hear parents say they now have limitations when they have a child. My personal opinion is that the only limitation is yourself. Of course, having a child makes doing things a little more challenging, but they’re certainly not the one saying you can’t do it – you are.
My journey with Binky continues and it’s even better having India by our side. We all have passions in life, whether it be travelling, socialising, working or sports. Don’t stop or slow this down due to being a parent. Adapt to the situation and make your child a part of it. Bring your child to lunch with your friend or look after them whilst your partner gets their hair done.
I haven’t felt limited to what I can do or who I want to be since India was born. If anything, she has created a new normality that involves her in it and what an exciting journey this is!
Story of the week
Eating out is always a game of roulette for me since having India. You just don’t know what the outcome may be but for some reason you always take the bet. On one occasion, Binky was so tired, I decided to treat her. So, I took the morning off work and we went for breakfast, just to get her out of the house.
“Who knows what that little monster in her/his pram has planned for you.”
Once you leave the safe compound of your home, its every man for himself. Who knows what that little monster in her/his pram has planned for you. As we got closer to our destination, India was suspiciously cool, calm and collected.
I found myself in a state of comfort, casually picking up the menu and ordering twice the amount I usually would. She was asleep, so what could possible go wrong? Boy was Daddy fooled!
Before I could dip my soldiers into that delicious, perfectly cooked egg, India woke with a smile that would strike fear into any man’s heart. A smile that means one thing – feed me now or I’ll scream in front of all these people and embarrass you.
The sacrifice was made and my breakfast was to go cold. I let Binky enjoy her hot breakfast and I picked up the dreaded bottle (an art I hadn’t quite perfected). India is always sick on me when I feed her, no matter how many times I’ve tried different tactics. However, on this occasion it was seemingly going well. I was even praised for my efforts by Binks (which meant one big ‘well done’ smooch was coming up)!
“Not only had she puked up all over me, she’d also reached another table.”
My morale was high and my confidence growing! Then Binky stood up to go to the loo leaving me isolated and alone. India knew it was time for her to make her move and with one little sound my heart sunk. My worst nightmare had become a reality. Not only had she puked up all over me, she’d also reached another table.
Thankfully, the person hadn’t realised! So, I was left with no option but to wait until Binks returned to be my saviour. How she managed to clean it up without the person realising just proves she really is a super human!
I now have 21 years to plot my revenge for moments like these. India brace yourself…!
Tip of the week
Always pack a spare set of clothes whenever you go somewhere. You never know when your child may surprise you. Be prepared!
Item of the week
Each blog post, I want to share with you an item that makes life a little easier for Binky and I, or something that India enjoys. This week I was looking at a number of jungle gyms and I decided to get the Skip Hop Amazing Arch Activity Gym.
The gym has proven a hit with India. Even at such a young age, it seems to stimulate her through sounds and colours. I love that it has a mechanism to put a phone to catch those precious moments for when your partner’s not there.